...If Dilbert is your hero

...If you can name six Star Trek episodes

...If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail

...If your wrist watch has more computing power than a Pentium II 450mhz.

...If your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place

...If you look forward to Christmas only to put together your kids' toys

...If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car

...If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts

...If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb on the string

...If you window shop at Radio Shack

...If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies

...If you have Dilbert comics displayed anywhere in your work area

...If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run

...If you are convinced you can build a phaser out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment

...If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is

...If you have modified your can opener to be microprocessor driven

...If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush

...If you own "Official Star Trek" anything

...If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside

...If a team of you and your coworkers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception

...If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project

...If you are currently gathering the components together to build your own nuclear reactor

...If you own one or more white short-sleeved dress shirts

...If you have never backed up your hard drive

...If you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it aloud

...If you truly believe aliens are living among us

...If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance

...If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"

...If you see a good design and still have to change it

...If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer your questions

...If you still own a slide rule and know how to use it

...If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind

...If you own a set of itty-bitty screwdrivers but you can't remember where they are

...If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires

...If you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal

...If you have more toys than your kids

...If you need a checklist to turn on your TV

...If you have ever introduced your kids by the wrong names

...If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work

...If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight

...If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work, you rush up to the front to fix it

...If you can remember seven computer passwords, but not your anniversary

...If you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery Channel, and have seen most of the shows already

...If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key, and know what RPN stands for

...If your father sat two inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal

...If you know how to take the cover off your computer, and what size screwdriver to use

...If you can type seventy words a minute, but can't read your own handwriting

...If people groan at the party when you pick out the music

...If you can't remember where you parked the car...for the third time this week

...If you did the sound system for your senior prom

...If your checkbook always balances

...If your wrist watch has more buttons than a telephone

...If you have more friends on the internet than in real life

...If you thought the real heroes in Apollo 13 were the mission controllers

...If you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep

...If you spend more on your home computer than your car

...If you know what http:// stands for

...If you've ever tried to repair a five dollar radio

...If you have a neatly sorted collection of nuts and bolts in your garage

...If your three-year-old son asks, "why is the sky blue?" and you try to explain the atmospheric absorption theory

...If your laptop computer costs more than your car